This Has Nothing To Do With Movies But...

Just wait for it.

Cadbury gorilla
by remaith

Blast from the Past: Oldboy

Olboy tells the story of a man who in the beginning of the film is kidnapped for seemingly no apparent reason and held captive in a room that looks like a small (very small) apartment for fifteen years, and then suddenly he is released back into the world also seemingly for no reason. Those years trapped in a room has changed him from a lovable (even though always drunk) guy to a man who is hell bent on revenge for whoever has done this to him. He meets a woman who works in a sushi bar who ends up helping him find the person responsible for his capture. Unlike most revenge movies it doesn't take him very long to find out who did this to him, but when he finds the guy responsible just before killing him the guy gives him an ultimatum. He tells him that if you kill me now you will never find you WHY I did this to you, suddenly Oldboy realizes (as well as myself) that knowing the reason is more important then killing him. He tells Oldboy that if he can figure it out in five days than he would kill himself and save Oldboy the trouble. This is where the movie gets very interesting. One clue leads to another which leads to another, so forth and so on, which leads to the most shocking twist ending I've ever seen. Unlike Kill Bill where the lead is fueled simply by revenge, Oldboy really wants answers. This is one of the most disturbing yet poetic revenge tales I have ever seen, and it still remains brutal. This movie keeps you hanging by a thread until the credits roll, and begs to be watched again almost immediately, and watching it again knowing the twist makes it that much more disturbing to watch. Winner of the Grand Prix award (best film) at the Cannes film festival in 2004, Oldboy is an epic tale of revenge with a twist ending that will leave you almost breathless. Everything that you thought to be meaningless turns out to have meaning that you will NEVER see coming. This is an amazing film.

Agree or Disagree? Leave a comment and let me know what you thought of this movie.

one luv, Toinne

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasnt seen it)

Most everyone I know has seen the original Star Wars trilogy, but there is always a person who has only seen it in bits and pieces over the years and doesn’t quite understand the big picture. Joe Nicolosi recorded his friend Amanda as she retells the story from the tiny amount that she has seen or heard about with rather hilarious results. Nicolosi explains to the Official Star Wars blog:

“Amanda seemed very confident in her knowledge of the Star Wars saga despite never having watched any of the Star Wars films. That was the first good sign. When we sat down to watch them, she started telling me what she thought the plots were going to be, so I told her to hold steady while I went to get my voice recorder.”

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Viral Marketing Just Got A Whole Lot Cooler

Viral marketing has been around for a while, but it has never been as cool as this. This is a viral for the upcoming Watchmen film. A nightly news profile on Dr. Manhattan; if the marketing is this good I can't wait for the film. The Watchmen hype-machine has turned up to level 10. Enjoy.

Warner Bros. Developing a New Tom and Jerry Movie

Despite the critical drubbings that they took, films like Garfield and Alvin and the Chipmunks,which took classic childhood cartoon characters and inserted CGI versions of them into the real world, still made big bank. Desperately wanting to make too much of a good thing, Warner Brothers is now developing a Tom and Jerry film, which, unlike the disastrous 1992 Tom and Jerry film, will have a CGI version of the cat and mouse doing battle in live-action settings. According to Variety, the movie will be “an origin story that reveals how Tom and Jerry first meet and form their rivalry before getting lost in Chicago and reluctantly working together during an arduous journey home.”

I’m not terribly excited about this idea for a couple of reasons. First of all, do we really need to know the origin of Tom and Jerry’s rivalry? Isn’t it kind of obvious why they would be at odds with each other from the beginning? Secondly, the Homeward Bound-esque element of the plot sounds like it might get in the way of the over-the-top violence that was a hallmark of the original series, which would be a disappointment. These are, after all, the characters whose feud inspired their ultra-violent counterparts, Itchy and Scratchy, on The Simpsons. And finally, do we really need more contemporary actors putting words/voices into the mouths of CGI version of beloved childhood characters (assuming that that’s the way they go with this film)?  I vote no, but the American public keeps voting yes with their wallets, so I suppose these films will keep on coming.

Is a Tom and Jerry movie a good idea?

Top 10 Characters of 2008

Some great films come out in 2008, and along with those films came some great characters. Here are some of the characters that I thought stood out above the rest and deserved some recognition. I'm not judging the performances of the actors alone, but also the characters themselves. These were some of the most interesting, original and downright captivating characters of 08'.

10. Reepicheep (The Chronicles of Narnia : Prince Caspian)

Voice by British comedian Eddie Izzard, this little guy stole every scene he was in. Reepicheep was a knighted mouse and held honor and integrity as high as any knight would, but because he is a mouse he is highly underestimated by his opponents, which can sometimes work to his advantage, but mostly annoys him. Every time there's a battle sequence, Reepicheep would come across a guard who after seeing him gets this confused look on his face, and Reepicheep very annoyed by it would say "Yes, I'm a Mouse." just before he takes the guy out. It gets a laugh every time. My favorite thing about Reepicheep is how much depth was brought to the character. He could have just been a cute little mouse for the kids to enjoy, but he was a very well rounded and respectable character, and he could really kick some ass. All of this made him that much more interesting, because seeing him you want to go "Aww how cute.", but learning who he is and what he's about makes you actually care for him.

9. Johann Krauss (Hellboy II: The Golden Army)

Johann Krauss is ectoplasm vapor in a steel suit, he where's the suit to give him shape and help him fit in a work environment and also make him easily visible. He is hired to take command of Hellboy's team after Hellboy reveals himself to the public during a mission. Krauss is punctual, straight-laced, and scrupulously by the book. Everything Hellboy is not. So it goes without saying that they bump heads. The cool thing about Johann Krauss is that he doesn't have to be in that suit, he (the vapor) can leave the suit at will and physically manipulate objects or posses mechanical objects and living things. The first time we get to see this is when the conflict between Kruass and Hellboy escalate to a point where to get to fisticuffs in a locker room. Krauss leaves the suit an gives Hellboy a proper beat down using only the lockers doors. It's simultaneously hilarious, and shows us that Krauss can handle himself in a fight, but mostly hilarious. Being a new character in the world of Hellboy he just fits, it's like he was somewhere in the background of the first film and we just didn't notice. Bringing a new character into a franchise can always be dicey, but Krauss just feels right, like he should have been there the whole time, and I couldn't imagine the world of Hellboy without him now.

8. Paul and Peter (Funny Games)

Paul and Peter played brilliantly by Michael Pitt and Brady Corbet respectively, might be the most disturbing characters to come along since Hannibal Lecter. The reason I say this is because these guys can do the most unspeakable and torturous acts, and be so polite to the people who they're inflicting the pain on. In one of the scenes Paul actually says " I'm sorry I just broke your knees; but you weren't being very polite were you?" It's just trippy to watch, these are the nicest most polite guys who will help you with your grocery bags, help you put them away and then turn your life into a living nightmare just for fun, and apologize for it. You might be thinking "Wow these guys are crazy.". No. They were very sane and fully aware of they're actions, which made them even more disturbing. I could see if they were crazy, that would justify there actions. Yet, the fact that weren't makes them truly disturbing.

7. Wesley Gibson (Wanted)

Judging from the pic above you wouldn't think that guy was once the most timid and pathetic guy on Earth, but he was. Wesley Gibson was the type of guy who bought condoms for his best friend so that his best friend could go have sex with Wesley's girlfriend (yeah). He ate the same sandwich at the same deli at the same time everyday for lunch, and when his boss got on him he had a panic attack every time. One day Wes finds out that his father was the best assassin of a group of super assassins and his life gets a complete 180. What made Wes so captivating was his transformation from bitch to bad ass. You're sitting there thinking there's no way this guy is going to be that awesome, but the transformation of the character was honest and logical (given the subject matter) and that's why when Wes finally becomes the guy that he was born to be, it is so satisfying.

6. Les Grossman (Tropic Thunder)

Although this was a somewhat small role, it was certainly the biggest and funniest surprise in Tropic Thunder (and that's saying something). Tom Cruise puts on a fat suit, a bald cap, and a fake beard to give us his funniest and best performance in while. Les Grossman might have been in only three or four scenes of the movie, but whenever this foul mouthed Hollywood studio exec that didn't that shit from no one was one the screen, the laughter was nonstop. Tom Cruise was so funny in fact that I was trying to keep myself from laughing so loud just to hear was he was going to say next, and when he was done talking that's when I would let myself laugh.

5. Tony Stark (Iron Man)

Tony Stark a brilliant inventor and CEO of a mutlibillion dollar weapons manufacture Stark Industries, he's irresponsible and one of the most charismatic men in the world, and oh yeah he's Iron Man. When Tony finds that his weapons were getting into the wrong hands he wants to do something about it so through circumstances of the film he ends up building a suit made of titanium alloy that can be used as a weapon. The way the film shows Tony building the suit is so believable, like this thing could really be built by someone who was smart enough. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've never seen a genius in a film be such a cool and likable guy. They're usually an annoying side character that we don't see until the main character needs something. Yet, Tony was just a likable and funny guy who just so happened to be the smartest man in the world.

4. Kirk Lazarus (Tropic Thunder)

" I'm the dude, who's playing a dude, disguised as another dude!" Robert Downey Jr. was on a roll last year. First we got his amazing take on Tony Stark, and then he gives us one of the funniest characters to come along since Jim Carrey's character Fletcher Reede in Liar Liar. This could have easily been the most offensive role ever, and it would have ruined any other actors career, but Downey pulled it off in a way that I never expected. Kirk Lazarus is an actor who is so dedicated and so method towards his acting that he literally becomes his character, and he never under any circumstances breaks character. As he says in the film he doesn't break character until after the DVD commentary, that's dedication. He gets a role in a big budget Vietnam war movie called Tropic Thunder and his character his a black guy from New Orleans, so he goes as far as to get a controversial skin procedure in order to look the man in the pic above. I have no idea how he pulled this off, but Downey was absolutely hilarious in this movie, his performance alone is worth seeing what will go down in history as a comedy classic.

3. Benjamin Button (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)

A guy that ages backwards is captivating enough, but Benjamin wasn't just a really cool make up effect, he was a guy just like us. He goes through life the same way we all do, not really knowing the all the answers, but just living the best way you know how. The fact that a guy who is seemingly extraordinary is just like you and me makes this character truly captivating. He is grounded in reality making us believe than on the rarest of occasions someone can age backwards. Brad Pitt give one of his most interesting performances, he played it very subtle making Ben more plausible. It's just one of those characters were I can't really explain it, you just have to see for yourself to get what I am trying to say.

2. WALL-E & EVE (WALL-E)

Pixar is and has been my favorite movie studio since Toy Story. They've always came up with fantastic stories and great characters, but my fav Pixar characters to date are WALL-E and EVE. Only Pixar can take two robots that really only say "Wall-e." or "Eve." throughout the entire film and give them life. There was so much emotion in these characters it's unbelievable. This is best demonstrated in the film, when WALL-E has his motherboard replaced he temporarily loses memory of who his is and just does his robot duties with no emotion. That difference between WALL-E as a character and WALL-E as and empty shell of a robot is so striking that up until that point in the film you really didn't notice how much depth, emotion, and character these two robots had. They weren't just ordinary robots, they were two of the most heartfelt characters of to come across the silver screen in quite some time.

1. The Joker ( The Dark Knight)

He was insane, unpredictable (sometimes even to himself), ruthless, chaotic, and well...The Joker. Heath Ledger gave the performance of his career as The Joker, he makes Jack Nicholson's Joker look like a circus clown. This guy was truly a force to be reckoned with, diabolical in every since of the word. There isn't enough I can say about The Joker so I'm going to keep this short or else I'm going to go on forever. A villain in the truest form, The Joker was the best character of 2008.

So there you have it, my picks for the best characters of 08'. Hope you enjoyed my list, maybe there's a character that you think I might have forgotten, or thought one of my picks should have been higher or lower on the list. Let me know in the comments.

one luv, Toinne

My Bloody Valentine

Starring the guy who plays Dean Winchester from Supernatural and the gorgeous Jamie King, My Bloody Valentine is the story of serial killer dressed as a miner blah blah blah. I don't really need to get into the story here, it's a slasher flick, and as far as slasher flicks go this one is pretty old school. Some of the things that modern audiences have come accustom to aren't really in this movie. Which isn't a bad thing because it's going for that 80's slasher movie feel, but with a twist, it's in 3D. The 3D aspect of the film certainly makes it fun to watch, but doesn't make the film any better. As with Journey to the Center of the Earth, the 3D took an unremarkable film and made it fun to watch. So far the best 3D film I've seen is Beowulf, simply for the fact that the movie was very good so the 3D didn't just feel like a gimmick, it actually enhanced the film as an experience. Since My Bloody Valentine isn't really that good of a movie the only thing it had going for it was the 3D, so it does feel like a gimmick, a very entertaining gimmick.

3 out of 5

Agree or Disagree? Leave a comment and let me know what you thought
about this movie.

one luv, Toinne

Blast from the Past: August Rush

Released in 2007 August Rush is a remarkable film. If there ever was a movie that could truly show the power and magic of music this is it. The story goes as such, a young orphan named Evan Taylor believes in music the way most people believe in God. Music is his religion. He can hear music in everything, and there is an incredible scene when he first steps foot in Times Square that demonstrates this. His journey throughout the film is to find his parents, and he believes that if he can just get a chance to play his music they would hear it and know that is was him. Through incredible circumstances, either by chance or the power of music, this does happen. I have never seen a film that was so musically driven, not even musicals. It really makes you believe that music is a force of nature and not just something that entertains us on the way to work or in our spare time. On his journey to find his parents he meets a different array of people as he "follows the music". The kid is a music prodigy, never having been able to play an instrument in the orphanage the music could never go any further than his head. Yet once he gets into the big city meets a few musicians, and all he has to do is see someone play an instrument once and he knows how to play that instrument. The first time we get a chance to see him play a guitar and hear the music that had been in his head is outstanding. You might be wondering about the score given the subject matter of the film; well I'm not going to go out on a limb and say that it's the best score I've ever heard (Titanic still holds that) but it is quite remarkable. The score created by Mark Mancina and Hans Zimmer does however capture the emotion of a moment in such a way that I have never seen in a film. The music of the film embodies the ideas and philosophies of the film, which are, music is something that moves, inspires, and connects us all, and if we believed hard enough it can make the impossible happen. If you've not yet seen this gem of a film, then I highly recommend that you hop on netfilx and put this one on your queue. It will make you remember why you love music in the first place.

Agree or Disagree? Leave a comment and let me know what you thought about this movie.

one luv, Toinne

Gran Torino

Gran Torino takes its title from a 1972 Ford  parked in a driveway — a memento in this curious, striking drama directed by and starring Clint Eastwood. He plays Walt Kowalski, a widowed, retired autoworker alienated from his grown sons and just about everybody else. Walt spends most of his time growling, tinkering, mowing his postage-stamp lawn, and raging against a world that's changed and won't change back no matter how hard he glares. Change has certainly come to his run-down Detroit neighborhood: Hmong immigrants with strange, foreign ways have moved in. Next door, there's a fatherless, multigenerational family that includes a quick-witted daughter (Ahney Her) and an uneasy younger teenage son (Bee Vang) who struggles to steer clear of the local Hmong gangbangers pressuring him to join them. Walt thinks people stink. He's obnoxiously rude to a baby-faced Catholic priest  who, fulfilling the dying request of Walt's late wife, urges the SOB to go to confession. And the character regularly lets loose with such a vile spew of racist epithets that it's clear Eastwood is looking to inflame the PC ears of a contemporary audience. Then, when someone attempts to steal Walt's prized car, the coiled Korean War vet reaches for his weapon. (A different Eastwood in a different movie might have rasped ''Do you feel lucky?'') But in the aftermath of his rage — as if breaking and entering were the only way to open the old man's emotional door — this twisted, post-9/11 version of Dirty Harry warily develops a relationship with the strangers next door. The connection leads to — well, to a shocking spiritual salvation, in fact. And to gang warfare. And to a movie at once understated and radical, deceptively unremarkable in presentation and ballsy in its earnestness. Don't let the star's overly familiar squint fool you: This is subtle, perceptive stuff. Clint Eastwood has touted Gran Tarino as his last acting perfomance, and if that is true than this is an absolutely perfect send off to one of Hollywood's finest talents. I'm sure Eastwood will get behind the camera again, but his screen presence will be missed. Farewell Mr. Eastwood, and keep making great films in the directors chair.

5 out of 5

Agree or Disagree? Leave a comment and let me know what you thought about this movie.

one luv, Toinne

This Has Nothing To Do With Movies But...

Real Life Mario

Why can't American TV shows be this cool? And why is Barack Obama randomly in the middle of this? Oh, the Japanese.

You Just Got Bacon'd

What if Kevin Bacon created a chessy television hidden camera show ala Punk'd? It would look something like this.

BACON'D! by Kevin Bacon

Hilarious

Young Jean-Claude Van Damme

Video footage has been discovered of the exact moment when young Jean-Claude Van Damme became a man.

Whoa, Intense

Trailer for a film from the master of terror Wes Craven, The Last House on the Left.

Love the rendition of O' Sweet Child Of Mine it really adds to the intensity

This Looks Hilarious

Red band trailer for The Slammin' Salmon, I dont want to speak too soon, but this might be 2009's Tropic Thunder.

LOL I Wish I Had One of These

Don’t want to wear out those DVDs

The Spirit

So I heard all of the negative buzz about this film, and it got to a point where I just had to see it for myself to find out if it was really that bad. After seeing it I came to this conclusion, it's not as bad as people are saying it is, it's worse. The Spirit has to be the worst film ever made. There is nothing coherent about this film whatsoever, things just..happen. There is no story to really speak of except for something about a vile that contains the blood of Hercules (yeah) and a treasure chest or something. There is nothing redeeming about The Spirit, not even that factor when some movies can be so bad that they're actually good. You know what I mean, a movie that was supposed to be entertaining in one way, but it's really bad so it becomes entertaining in a wow this is so bad that it's actually kind of funny way. I call that awesomely bad, if you've seen 10,000 B.C. then you get what I mean. Well The Spirit isn't even awesomely bad, it's just bad. It is just a mess of a film. Everything that has been establish in cinema over the past 50 years is completely been disregarded in The Spirit. Worst. Movie. Ever. 

1 out of 5

Right here I would normally ask if you agreed or disagreed with my review, but I'm not going to bother because of you've seen it then you know. If you haven't, it will be 108 minutes of your life that you will never get back, so please just do something else.

one luv, Toinne

A Robosapien Movie? WTF?

Remember that toy that was hot for Christmas called Robosapien? Of course you do. They made a new version every year. that spawned into other similar “robo” themed toys? No? Well trust me, it was big!

So big that they are basing a new movie around the toy. So while you are still trying to figure out what toy I am talking about and why they are making a movie, Quiet Earth has the plot synopsis:

An inventor working for Kinetech Labs has designed a robot for search and rescue missions that has the ability to mimic human actions and emotions. After discovering that the robot’s advanced microchip is actually going to be used by Kinetech for military applications, the inventor programs the robot to flee, whereupon it is damaged. Twelve year old Henry finds the broken robot, fixes him up and names him Cody. With no memory of his past, Cody becomes Henry’s best friend, helping him win over his love interest, battle bullies and partake in some crazy fun. Cody quickly becomes a valuable part of Henry’s family as he helps them forge better relationships with one another, and even surprises them by remodeling their home.

Yes this is real,  and has FAIL written all over it.

This Has Nothing To Do With Movies But...

Sometimes insanity equals awesome.

wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.

Talking During The Film Might Get You Shot

Holy Tapdancing Jesus! I have been annoyed at disruptive movie patrons before but NEVER would I think of taking it this far. A man in South Philly was so annoyed by an annoying kid at a theater, that he SHOT his father for not shutting the whippersnapper up.

ScreenRant reports:

It’s been reported that 29-year old James Joseph Cialella Jr, who went to a screening of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button on Christmas Day, pulled out a gun and shot another man in the arm because he and his family (yes, that’s right, his family was there) for being too noisy. The incident took place at the UA Riverview Stadium 17 theater in South Philadelphia.

Cialella became annoyed when the family, which was sitting near the front, wouldn’t stop talking. He told them to be quiet, but because of this apparently the young son decided to be a smart ass and became even noisier, making comments and the like. Cialella then threw popcorn at the young boy in an attempt to get him to stop annoying him. But since that failed he decided that next logical step must be to pull out his gun (a Kel-Tec .380 handgun to be precise) and shot the father in the arm.

We have all wanted to stand up and address those annoying people who think it is there job to offer commentary during a film. Tell them off. Throw popcorn.

The theater staff is usually quite willing to ask someone to leave if they are disrupting the movie (kicking out one paying jackass is better than refunding a theater full of annoyed patrons when you do nothing) so I have to question the mental stability of a man who is willing to escalate things to this extreme. Shushing, Commenting, Popcorn… GUN. Seems he skipped a few logical steps in this conflict.

I quote the noble Reverend Book when I say that there is a Special Hell reserved for Child Molesters and People who Talk During the Movie.

I would be just as annoyed with the parent who LET their kid carry on like this. If my kid was the one disrupting everone, he would get put in his place in a hurry. But the shooter’s logic at least extended that far as to blame the father for not being a parent.

But for all you jackasses out there who think its funny to comment at the screen. You are not. And next time you will think twice about speaking up wondering if there is some unstable psychopath watching the movie with you just waiting to shoot you for your antics.

2009 Movie Preview Images Online

There are a whole lot of new images from a whole lot of movies. Nothing outlandish or groundbreaking. Kinda more of the same we have seen but worth a stroll through the gallery.
Coming Soon says:

Entertainment Weekly has published new photos from 15 releases in 2009, including: Public Enemies; Terminator Salvation; Where the Wild Things Are; Watchmen, The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3; Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince; Up; Year One; Land of the Lost; X-Men Origins: Wolverine; and Angels & Demons.

You can see the EW gallery here